Long-Distance Relationships – Can They Really Work?
By Emma Hughes
Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? Or is someone out of sight also out of mind?
All around the world there are couples who have been forced to live apart for various different reasons. Whether students separated by different universities, or young professionals climbing the corporate ladder, there are 4 vital ingredients needed for a successful long-distance relationship: Respect, Love, Commitment and Trust.
A recent poll conducted by Sky, has found that the amount of UK singles looking for a long-distance relationship has tripled over the last ten years. This means that 3 million of the UK’s 15 million singles population would like to be in a serious relationship with someone who lives a long way away.
So why do people pursue long-distance relationships? Surely they’re causing themselves unnecessary heartache? Some would say it’s hard enough to have a successful relationship with someone who lives right near you these days, let alone being miles apart. However, with so many people in this type of relationship, surely there’s something catchy about it?
Nick Rose, aged 48, spent 2 years of his life in a long-distance relationship. After falling in love with a woman he met in New Zealand whilst travelling in his late 20’s, he stayed in contact with her on and off for 22 years, before beginning a long-distance relationship with her at the age of 44. Two years later, after successfully battling through the frustrations of their long-distance love, their lives took a turn for the better when they bought a house together in New Zealand. Asked what people would find catchy about a long-distance relationship, he said “Being separated allows you both the time and distance to realise whether you’re feelings for each other are real and can stand the test of time. If you can survive distance, then you can survive anything life throws at you.”
Looking back on his long-distance relationship, he said “We had to put in so much effort during the 2 years we were apart, and a lot of frustration was caused as our feelings for each other grew. It was very difficult for us.” He goes on to say “The time I left my life in the UK behind for a life in New Zealand couldn’t have come any sooner. I sacrificed a lot to do that, but I have no regrets. Deep down you know in your heart if the relationship is worth it.”
Asked what he would say to anyone thinking of having a long-distance relationship, he said: “Negotiating a point in time when you can live together is the most important thing for you to do. This gives you both something to look forward to and provides light at the end of the tunnel. Also, be realistic in your expectations of the relationship whilst you are separated. If it all works out in the end and you live a life together, then you’ll experience the most amazing feeling in the world.”
So, whatever age you may be, if you’re in a long-distance relationship or thinking of having one, remember the following: without undeniable chemistry and a solid friendship, the relationship has no chance of surviving the distance. As long as you agree regular contact, work on the “friendship” part of your relationship, and create memorable times when you see each other then you’ll be heading down the right path. Love and relationships are what make life special, and the ones built on understanding are the ones worth preserving.
Distance is only as big a problem as you allow it to be. Don’t let it ruin your opportunity to fall in love.
