A Successful Day

 

Helen Mills

 


 

Aah, the first day of December. ‘What a perfect opportunity for a new start and a new environment for the FAME team’ I hear you cry! And you would be right. It was finally time to up sticks and make our way to the Maclaurin Building. There we were, arms filled with office flotsam and jetsam, marching triumphantly towards our goal: the sparkling new office. With hearts filled with hope and eyes wide with anticipation we made our way to the (rather ominously named) Incubation Centre. As we surveyed our kingdom we silently pondered the potential held in our new sanctuary...

 

 

 

 

Why then are we now sheepishly sat back at our old desks a mere two hours after our headstrong move?

 

I will share with you the steps you must take to have a day as victorious as ours:

 

  1. Make sure when leaving the old office to make a big deal about it. Be sure to make an overconfident announcement to the whole room and maybe crack a few cocksure jokes about how much you will be missed. This will ensure that your day will run smoothly and there will be absolutely no chance of anything going wrong.

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  2. When arriving at the new office try to pick the desk which is a) reserved for someone else and b) minus a working computer. For extra success-points pick the desk which misleadingly has a monitor but no computer (it also helps if everything is unplugged).

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  3. Once you have turned on the desktop computer it helps if the system refuses to recognise your log-in details. The helpful declining noise which the computer makes will also lighten your mood and stop you from feeling stressed. Be sure to try your log-in at least 4, 5 or even ten times before gradually giving in.

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  4. If you DO manage to log in, ensure that Microsoft Word does not appear on the list of programmes. As you are doubtless aware, this is the least important programme and so you probably won’t need it in the long run. You may also want to be sure that Mozilla Firefox is not installed as everyone knows that Internet Explorer is superior. (This will also mean that you won’t have to open those pesky emails that only work in Firefox).

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  5. Another good tip to remember is not to eat any lunch for as long as possible as it is a well-known truth that the human body and mind work better when running on empty. This means that the brain is working harder and therefore better. Also try to mention every 5 or 10 minutes how hungry you are as this will make it easier to concentrate.

 

 

 

 

It may sound tough but if you follow this simple 5-Step plan you too can successfully move out of your office and be back again before the day is through (if you are lucky you will also have no work done in the meantime). Good Luck!